Digital Etiquette

Checking Phones Before Entering

There’s a telcom inspired reenactment of Wild West taking place. It used to be that cowboys checked their guns before entering a saloon. Now, teens and adults have to check their phones before they can enter the classroom and other venues. The company that enables this, Yondr, has been around since 2015 but it’s getting…
Too Many Phone Apps?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My question is about trying out new apps and if you can have too many phone apps. My girlfriend has an idea to download one new app each day, starting in January. She said she wants to do this to stay curious, discover new things, plus learn to code with me. My…
Does Phone Have Place at Thanksgiving Table?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I am sort of dreading Thanksgiving next week because I have an aunt who ruins the occasion with her phone habits. During dinner she keeps the phone on the table and is always checking her messages. Before dinner, when we are talking, she insists on fact-checking every name or date. It’s so…
Reposting News too Fast?

Smartphones are useful in emergencies when the power fails. But Is it bad to be too fast when it comes to reposting? It’s important to think through the impacts..
Install Chat GPT App Now?

Eager to download the ChatGPT App on your phone Here are some things to keep in mind when you use it. Things are different on the phone!
Is Calendar on Phone So Dated?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I was embarrassed for my digital self during a meeting this week. When the group went to set the next meeting time everyone in the room, except me, pulled out their phones. I was the only one who reached for my paper datebook (or ‘diary’, per the English). Is there something wrong…
Apple Pay Later: Build Credit Record Now?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My parents got an offer this month to try out a service called Apple Pay Later. It’s like a credit card on the phone that lets you pay in installments without interest charges or fees. I begged my parents to let me try it but they refused. Since I’ll be in college…
Which Phone to Pick?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I’d like to get a smartphone for my nephew. He lives in Spain where I am visiting this summer. At first I was planning to get him a Samsung phone, and then I saw an article that kids these days prefer to have Apple phones if they can afford it. Now I’m…
Posting Dates Hard to Spot

Wondering why it’s so hard to find when something is posted on the Internet and whether it matters… should there be a shelf life to guard against misinformation?
Shared Experience of Viewing

Watching the SuperBowl on the TV…and with virtual friends.
Audio Track is a Blast

The track from Reels…wakes up the baby, sends the cat flying across the room and spikes my blood pressure. Is this noise pollution?!
Teens Ditching the Phone?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My college counselor casually mentioned that my friends and I should try to follow the lead of some NYC students. They stopped using social media or switched to flip phones. He read an article about these teens in the newspaper and thought we should try it out. I think it’s a good…
ChatGPT writes Advice Column

Unless you have been living under a rock this winter, you have probably read about ChatGPT . If you are more prone to cast stones then you might have gone online to play with the beta release. It’s a highly responsive artificial intelligence (AI) program trained on natural language. When put to task, people can’t…
Is there Digital Privacy?

The Phone, The TV, and The Fridge…all on camera all on my same IP address.
Cheating Online for Cash

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My son told us he was doing tutoring online after school and getting paid for it. But it turned out he was actually cheating online for cash. He was playing video games with other kids in an arranged game. The arrangement was that he would lose when they played together, so that…
I Don’t Need a New Phone

…But I want one!
Meet Job Candidate in Person?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My coworker and I disagree over the next hire for our ten person tech firm. I would like to meet the job candidate in person even if it means flying them cross-country. My coworker says it is unnecessary to meet a job candidate in person since the position is going to be remote…
eGift Card: InKind

Food for thought. The InKind eGift card.
Listserv Why Still Use it?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I am watching my parent’s condo this summer while they are gone, and that includes checking their PO box and an email account. The postal mail is tame, but the email seems to be out-of-control. My question is listserv- why still use it? There are tens of messages that come in daily…
Two Factor Authentication a Pain

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I took your class and try to be mindful about using my phone, so I often choose to work on my laptop computer. And I try to keep it secure. The problem is that many of the web sites I go to on my laptop require two-factor authentication and it’s a pain.…
Can’t Turn Off Bluetooth

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I consider myself fairly informed with tech so I can’t figure out why my phone is always turning itself ‘on’ to Bluetooth. I turn the Bluetooth ‘off’. Next time I pick up the phone it is back ‘on’. It feels like the phone overrides what I want. BTW, I have an Apple…
Is the Role of Concierge Dead?

Is the concierge dead…and is the smartphone the killer?
Phone at Dinner Table?

Is Phone Part of the Plating?
Top Stories- Smartphones in 2021

A year of illumination and heat for the smartphone…
Is Texting How We Stay in Touch?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: What’s going on with the holidays and so much texting and social media? I like hearing from friends who are far away, but this Thanksgiving it really got out of hand. All day there were texts and messages, plus the social media to respond to. Was everyone on their phones all the…
Digital Etiquette Phone Calls

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I used to just pick up the phone and call my closest girlfriends and family members. Now it’s changed and I have to plan it in advance! First I send a text to find a time in common, then a calendar invite, and finally the phone call. I am finding this digital…
Is Instagram Toxic for Boys?

A Mom wonders whether the flawless images seen on Instagram make boys feel bad too.
Private Instagram Account for Kids?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I read that Instagram might allow kids under age 13 to get online, providing their accounts are private. My ten year old is asking me to set up an account for him like this, and I am undecided. He is a good student and helps me a lot with my other kids…
Is TikTok Bad for Kids?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: Is TikTok bad for kids and specifically for a girl entering the fifth grade? My step-daughter spent a week in dance camp. Now she is excited to share her videos when school begins. She says she wants to keep making them and aims to be a TikTok influencer this Fall. I love…
Can Emojis Make Me Seem Empathetic?

Will an emoji improve my relationship? Or spice it up?!
Do Food & Phone Lack Etiquette?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: My roomies and I celebrated the end of the school year by getting a reservation at a famous local restaurant. You would recognize the name. When we were seated, two of them kept their phones out and used them throughout the meal. It was not to take pictures of the food either.…
Birth Announcements… Print or Internet?

Hello World! Do new families share this on the Internet or in print?
Bad Phone Behavior or Locatable?

Is Mom’s phone open 24/7 for notifications?
I Don’t Get Phone Calls On Phone

Is it me or my phone? No one calls!
Misunderstood Prank on Email

Dear Ms. Smartphone: Can you help me understand this misunderstood prank? On April Fool’s Day (this past Thursday) I posted an email to the town’s listserv. I invited fellow board members to a special Transportation Meeting. My email strongly recommended that they arrive on a scooter or bicycle. At the end of the email I…
Does Social Media Run our Lives?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: Does social media run our lives? My college roommate is a teacher in Los Angeles. He and I stay in touch, and we had planned to take a Spring Break trip this month. This is a tradition since we roomed together (except in 2020). Now he heard on Facebook that he was…
Why Use Voice Message, Not Text?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: When I long-distance with family in Israel they like to send voice memos instead of text. Mostly they have iPhones and they use a messaging app. It works for me. Why don’t more people here use a voice message instead of text? Len, Palo Alto Dear Len: ” Paja Escribit”– that means too…
Is Phone Number Safe?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: Is my phone number safe anymore? The other day I downloaded a new social media app called Clubhouse, because friends recommended it. Before it would open, the app required me to enter a phone number so it could send a verification code. It was a total accident but I got distracted and…
Troubleshoot Email Addresses

Phone is sending me to “dead” emails . Why?
Hidden Social Media Account

Teen wants to reconcile his private social media and his public persona…
Year-End Dear Smartphone

The year-end Dear Smartphone column in 2019 was about shopping online and holiday pandemonium. It was a prophetic post: “Maybe a future Christmas will put less emphasis on running between stores and accumulating presents and place more weight on taking holiday images, sharing symbols of the season, or just staying home.” Covid did for Dear Smartphone…
Does Screen Size Matter?

Is it the small screen or a small attention span when it comes to a digital meeting?!
Can Older People be Influencers?

Older people are on Facebook. Are they stoked to be social media influencers too?
Cheating Online Exam by Teen

Teen using phone to cheat on test..Mom wonders what to do next.
Zoom App on Phone Good?

Zoom Zoom is for Motorways….not for cars.
Reset iPhone for Mom?

Mom is getting hand-me-down phone. Should she get hand-me-down apps?
Phones & Disaster

Dear Ms. Smartphone: It’s a disaster. My wife and I had to evacuate our home this week because of nearby fires. Now I am getting inundated with texts and calls from far-away friends and distant relatives who want updates. I know that we should be grateful, but we are getting worn down responding to each…
Stay in Touch Not by Phone

`
Should Teen Remove TikTok?

A Mom is wondering where she and her teen stand on this issue….
Should Couple Share Screen?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I co-founded and run a small charity (HouseOfGoodDeeds.org) building community and helping others through altruism. We’ve been growing lately, partnering with other organizations and expanding our offerings. We have occasional small videoconferences with our organizers and volunteers, 3-5 attendees, but we anticipate bigger turnouts soon. My girlfriend is one of our main…
Why Don’t Seniors Bank Online?

The banks are all closed…and my parents want to pay for the errands
Zoom Fatigue: How to Overcome

Dear Ms. Smartphone: After a meeting or two on Zoom, and even a catch-up with girl friends, I am zonked out. Sometimes I skip meals because I feel so fatigued and crawl into bed. It’s just the opposite for my son, who is now home from college. He goes on Zoom in the evening with…
Memes: Why So Popular?

What is it about Memes? Am I missing out?
Smartphones & TikTok & Quibi

I want to watch things on my phone…what’s wrong with that?
Quibi Good For Phone?

Would Quibi be a good thing to add to my daily phone routine?
Zoom & Telework make me sad?

We spend the day in on-line meetings and the evenings in on-line meetups. Does that make us feel connected with each other?
Phones & RideHail?

Is it rude to the driver if I make a phone call during an Uber trip? What’s the etiquette here?
Dear Smartphone and Readers…

“To Wish You a Happy New Decade…” First there were Car Phones. Big bulky boxes carried in the trunk of a car for making an occasional call from the side of the road. Mobile phones with antennas succeeded them and gave rise to Phablets and Blackberries. During the past decade, many of us replaced our…
Last Minute Shoppers & Phone

There are more people on phones this now…and less people in stores.
Should Family Time Stream?

Should families live-stream their holiday celebrations to those off-site?
Flashlight, App & Halloween

Should we carry a flashlight when the smartphone can light things up for us? Sometimes a redundant ‘Yes.’
Is Texting Wrong Here?

If you have relatives who don’t say much, is texting the wrong thing to do?
Older Phones Work

Dear Ms. Smartphone: In the last post, you and the reader (Zack) seemed to yearn for the newest, latest phone. I have the opposite case. My husband has had the same phone for four years. He refuses to upgrade when I get a new one, even though the store is offering me a 2 for…
Need New Phone.. Really?

My current smartphone works…why do I feel ‘pain to attain’ a new one?!
How Often to Call?

Do daily phone calls to college kid interfere with independence?
Posting Kids Pics?

Are parents naive when they post kids pictures on social media like Instagram and Facebook?
School Ban Phones?

A mom asks whether schools should ban smartphones during the school day….
So Lonely with Phone

Everyone is wrapped up in their phones…except me.
Are Phones in Church a Disconnect?

During the church sermon someone was checking their email…
Kids Calling 911?

When should young kids be taught how to dial ‘911’ for an emergency?
Should My Wedding Ban Phones?

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I am sending a picture I saw on Instagram. It’s of a bride and groom atop a wedding cake, holding phones in their hands. I am getting married this summer. Is it OK to ask guests to come unplugged? …To not bring their phones to the ceremony? We are getting married outdoors…
Should Citizens Use Phones to Report Traffic Violations?

Some communities will let private citizens upload pictures of traffic violations..what’s next?
Kid’s Weekly Allowance Cash or Digital?

Should parents give kids a digital allowance? Rock, Paper, Phone!
Sending a Text on Mother’s Day Sent Wrong Message

Mother’s Day went awry when Mom got a text…not a phone call
Put Your Damn SmartPhone Away…You’re Running the Boston Marathon!

Boston Marathon runner wonders whether to bring her smartphone along.
Phone and Note Taking

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I teach a class at university extension and have an issue. My students are taking notes during class on their phones or tablets. Honestly, I don’t know whether they are actually taking class notes or browsing the Internet or email. Dale, Boston Dear Dale: What you pose could be a problem, or…
Simple Phones..Busy Life

Dear Ms. Smartphone: Do you think it’s a good idea to get a second phone, like a retro model that just does text and calls? I just heard about this and it intrigued me as a way to cut back my time online. TC, Tiburon Dear TC: There was an extended story in the Wall…
Rock, Paperless, Phone

Dear Ms. Smartphone: There were no print programs or agendas at a two-day conference I attended in San Francisco. It was paperless. The daily program was listed on a phone app along with the room locations and speakers’ names. People were constantly checking their phones to decide where to go next. Since the conference was…
Teens, Phones, Carpools

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I am a stay-at-home Mom and drive a carpool for my son and two girls, grades 8 and 9. They all take out their phones as soon as they get in my car. I try to ask them questions about school or find songs on the radio they might like. That doesn’t…
Families and Phones

Dear Ms. Smartphone: I would like to have better communications with my family. But it’s confusing. My mom seems to always be on the phone when I get home from school. When we have a family dinner, it seems like everyone has their phone next to them. But,I Skype my Grandparents weekly and I talk…
Teens and Cell Phones

Dear Ms Smartphone: Is this normal? My daughter is 15 and a junior in high school. She is always taking pictures of herself…more than 20 a day…. Then she shares some of them with her friends. When I ask her about it she says all teenage girls do this now. Dana, Petaluma Dear Dana: As…
Who Drives the GPS?

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: WHEN I DRIVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND HE LIKES TO USE HIS SMARTPHONE TO GIVE ME DIRECTIONS. BUT HE TURN DOWN THE VOLUME, AND THEN FORGETS TO REPEAT SOME OF THE INFORMATION. THEN HE GETS MAD AT ME FOR MISSING TURNS! Annie, Antioch Dear Annie: It sounds like a control issue but no…
Dear Smartphone: Online Invitations?

Dear Smartphone: I read your advice to Tracy about sending Christmas cards through the mail instead of online. But, curious, what’s your opinion about sending out a party invitation? Should the invite always be on paper, or is it OK to send out electronic cards for an upcoming party? RC, Cambridge Dear RC: Thanks for…
Dear Smartphone: Christmas Cards Obsolete?

DEAR MS SMARTPHONE: I USED TO WATCH MY MOM SEND OUT CHRISTMAS CARDS EVERY YEAR AND IT WAS VERY TIME CONSUMING. NOW THAT I LIVE ON MY OWN DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CONTINUE THIS TRADITION? EVERYONE IS ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND I CONNECT WITH MY FRIENDS THERE. Tracy,Tiburon Dear Tracy: You mentioned that sending…
Dear Smartphone: Family Plan Matter

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: YOU HAD A POST ABOUT ALL THE NEW PHONES ON THE MARKET THIS FALL AND WHETHER WE NEED ONE. MY PROBLEM IS A BIT DIFFERENT: I HAVE PICKED OUT A PARTICULAR PHONE TO GET, BUT MY WIFE AND EXTENDED FAMILY USE A PHONE WITH A DIFFERENT OPERATING SYSTEM. THEY ARE TRYING TO…
Dear Smartphone: Tab Browsing

DEAR SMARTPHONE: I LIKED YOUR RESPONSE ABOUT WHY OLDER PEOPLE BLAME KIDS WHEN THEY FORGET TO TURN ON THE RINGER. I HAVE A SIMILAR QUESTION. WHY DO OLDER PEOPLE RESIST USING TABS WHEN THEY DO A SEARCH? WHY DO THEY INSIST ON CLOSING ONE TAB AND THEN OPENING ANOTHER? Wilco, Mill Valley Dear Wilco: Perhaps…
Dear Smartphone: Dead Ringer For Cell Phone Senior

DEAR MS SMARTPHONE: MY MOTHER INSISTS THAT NO ONE CALLS HER ANYMORE. I DO CALL HER AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT SHE HAS THE RINGER TURNED OFF OR THE MUTE BUTTON TURNED ON. I DON’T LIVE THAT CLOSE BY, SO IT’S HARD TO CHANGE THESE SETTINGS ON HER PHONE. C.K., …
Dear Smartphone: Is Map Skill Overkill?

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: MY SISTER AND I DISAGREE ON THIS ISSUE. WE WERE BOTH TAUGHT TO READ MAPS WHEN WE TOOK A FAMILY CAR TRIP. MY SISTER SAYS TIMES HAVE CHANGED AND WE CAN RELY ON THE MAPS ON OUR PHONES. I THINK THAT MAP READING SKILLS ARE VALUABLE AND SCHOOLS SHOULD CONTINUE TO TEACH…
Dear Smartphone: Should Voice Command?

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ABOUT USING THE VOICE COMMANDS ON THE SMARTPHONE(LIKE SIRI)INSTEAD OF THE KEYBOARD? I HAVE A FRIEND WHO USES THE VOICE COMMANDS ALL THE TIME AND I FIND THIS UNUSUAL. Fran, Albany Dear Fran: This is one of those questions that deserves an up or down vote from fellow readers.…
Dear Smartphone: A European Holiday with or without iPhone?

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: I’M ABOUT TO EMBARK ON MY FIRST EUROPEAN VACATION AND I’M STRUGGLING WITH THE DECISION WHETHER OR NOT TO BRING MY iPHONE. WHILE I DO WANT TO ENJOY MY VACATION I’M NERVOUS ABOUT FOLKS NOT BEING ABLE TO REACH ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO? AZ, Sausalito Dear AZ: I would not let…
Dear Smartphone: A Public Shaming

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: YOU WRITE ABOUT DIGITAL ETIQUETTE. NOT THAT I WANT TO BE A PAPARAZZI, BUT AREN’T YOU ON PHONE HERE? THIS LOOKS LIKE A RESTAURANT AND A PUBLIC PLACE YOU ARE CALLING FROM. Tibo, NoeValley Dear Tibo: So embarassed. Me bad. That is indeed a compromised photo. As I recall, I was engaged…
Dear Smartphone: Ear Buds for Buds?

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: MY FRIENDS AND I LIKE TO SHARE OUR PLAYLISTS. WE USUALLY DO THIS ON THE BUS TO AND FROM SCHOOL. SOMETIMES MY FRIENDS ASK ME TO SHARE THEIR EARBUDS BUT I AM RELUCTANT TO DO THIS. IT GROSSES ME OUT. AM I WRONG? Helen, Goleta Dear Helen: It sounds like you are…
Dear Smartphone: Phone is Confusing

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: I DON’T GET THOSE LITTLE SQUIGGLY ICONS ON THE TOP OF THE PHONE SCREEN. I AM TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK WHAT THOSE IMAGES ARE SUPPOSED TO MEAN. Rory, Fontana Dear Rory: You should not feel shy or embarrassed. What you describe is more common than you think. For example, what is a…
Dear Smartphone: Sneaky Backpack

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE BOTH IN TENTH GRADE. HE HAS A SECRET PHONE SEWN INTO HIS BACKPACK AND DURING CLASS HE WILL OPEN UP A FLAP AND BROWSE IT. IF THE TEACHER COMES BY HE CLOSES THE FLAP UP. SHOULD I REPORT HIM TO THE TEACHER? From Gabby, Stockton. Dear Gabby:…
Dear Smartphone: Honeymoon Blues

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: MY WIFE AND I ARE GOING TO TAKE AN OVERDUE HONEYMOON. WE GOT MARRIED LAST YEAR AND FINALLY HAVE THE TIME TO DO THIS. MY WIFE DOES NOT WANT US TO BRING ALONG OUR SMARTPHONES. BUT I FEEL THAT WE WILL BE TOTALLY DISCONNECTED AND MISS OUT IF WE DO NOT. Old…
Dirty Stuff!

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: IS IT BAD TO HAVE A DIRTY SCREEN ON YOUR PHONE? Xavier, San Francisco Dear Xavier: This is really a matter of preference but I weigh in on keeping it tidy. It’s like taking your car to the car wash- it looks and feels better. I keep a small polishing cloth by…
Is New Necessary?

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO GET A NEW PHONE WITH EACH UPGRADE? MY FRIENDS TALK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME. I HAVE HAD THE SAME PHONE FOR FIVE YEARS AND IT WORKS JUST FINE. Harold, San Francisco Dear Harold: We all get familiar with our smartphones and they can come…
Password Passed

DEAR MS. SMARTPHONE: MY BOYFRIEND HELPED ME DOWNLOAD SOME NEW APPS. BUT NOW HE HAS MY PASSWORD FOR BOTH THE PHONE AND FOR THE APP STORE. HE SAYS I DO NOT NEED TO CHANGE THEM IF I TRUST HIM. Lily, La Canada Dear Lily: Lots of people find themselves in this situation, and you should…
Dear Smartphone: Older People Phone

DEAR MS SMARTPHONE: MY GRANDPARENTS COMPLAIN THAT I DON’T PHONE THEM ENOUGH. I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH. BUT IT IS HARD FOR ME TO PICK UP THE PHONE TO CALL. Dan, San Diego. Dear Dan: You are describing a generational difference. You probably use chat and text more. But, you said you love them. Show…